Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
