Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
