His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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