Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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