C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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