hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
