Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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