she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
