Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
