Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
