Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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