Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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