You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Randomize
