My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
