i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
