i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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