I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
