respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
