just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
