the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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