We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
