the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Randomize
