if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
