..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
