I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
