just come out here and I will go home with you...
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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