Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
