maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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