I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
