I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
