So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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