i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
