Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
