oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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