Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
