I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
