she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The beer is more important than you right now.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
This toilet bowl is my home.
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