plz talk dirty to me
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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