he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
