You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
