Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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