Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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