I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Screwed.edu
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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