they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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