I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
