dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you win again, gameday.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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