He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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