I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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