I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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