I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
