don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize