note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
