I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
