Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
