I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
