I want to have your abortion
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
