There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
That accounts for only three of the penises
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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