Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
