p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My bed smells like the plague
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
