and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
