ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
