Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
