My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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